Year Released: 1957
Directed by: Leo McCarey
Starring: Cary Grant, Deborah Kerr, Richard Denning
(Not rated, 115 min.)
Genre: Romance

“Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories…we’ve already missed the spring.” –Terry McKay

Forget that insipid rom com imitation, Sleepless in Seattle, and get the real thing. In what is arguably the most romantic film ever made, Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr exchange witty and self-effacing banter on the long way to love, their airy chitchat hiding two vulnerable hearts.

In fact, this film should be required viewing for teens and even pre teens, replacing all that cynical hogwash in today’s sex ed. It shows us a code of chivalry we are in great need of relearning. Sure, it is an ideal few of us can live up to, but “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for.” (Robert Browning)

And by the way, unlike the films today, An Affair to Remember is not shy at all about references to heaven, God in general, and those old-fashioned concepts of good and evil we seem allergic to in current Hollywood.

First of all, despite its title, the love affair here is one of the hearts and minds, not the flesh, except for some very glorious kisses. Deborah Kerr, who plays Terry McKay, Cary Grant’s (Nickie Ferrente’s) love interest, spoke about Hollywood pulling out all the stops for the kisses. Of course, at that time kisses were about all that was permitted on the big screen. This kiss is all the more impactful because it is hidden.

Here is “the kiss” and bit more, but don’t watch until you have seen the film.

Nickie refers to the Empire State Building as “the closest thing to heaven in this city,” while Terry says she was looking up at it, “the nearest thing to heaven! You were there… “

Then there are the unabashed references to religion, specifically Catholicism. Nickie’s grandmother has a chapel on her French villa where she prays daily, and she is actually in the chapel when Nickie and Terry arrive for a surprise visit. Later Grandmother Janou (Cathleen Nesbitt) alludes to Nickie’s past as an alter boy, and we have a short scene in the chapel with Nickie and Terry kneeling together looking up at a life sized, blue robed Madonna.

Grandmother Janou plays a pivotal role, too. Far from the comic vulgar grandmas and grandpas we now see ad nauseam in such films as The Proposal, (Betty White), and Little Miss Sunshine (Alan Arkin), Grandmother Janou has the same quiet dignity and perception that she recognizes in Terry. And she understands her grandson in a way no one else can:

Grandmother Janou: Everything comes too easily to him. He’s always attracted by the art he isn’t practicing. The place he hasn’t been, the girl he hasn’t met.
Terry: Perhaps I shouldn’t have met him.
Grandmother Janou: No, my dear. You are different. I don’t mind confessing to you, I have been worried about him. Sometimes I’m frightened…that life will present a bill to Nicolo and he will find it hard to pay. But when I see you with him, I feel better.

And later she adds something else, although many today would cringe at this traditional idea…

“There is nothing wrong with Nicolo that a good woman couldn’t make right.”

***

Additionally, one time cabaret singer Terry actually has a stint as a music teacher at a catholic school, where her charges are in special need of moral leadership. The performance they put on is typical of films and of society in general at this time, reminding kids to listen to their consciences. Walt Disney had Jiminy Cricket as Pinocchio’s conscience. In their song, Terry’s students call it a “tiny scout.”

How about a cheer for the tiny scout ‘cause he knows you inside out.

Good side, bad side, clean side, mean side, wrong side, right side, outside, inside.

He’s your friend without a doubt. He’s your conscience. He knows you inside out.

***

In addition to the film’s name and playboy Nickie’s past, we have Richard Denning’s (Anyone remember Mrs. And Mrs. North?) Kenneth, the wealthy New Yorker who has been Terry’s boyfriend of 5 years. Never before has someone jilted behaved more chivalrously. When she tells him she is off to marry someone else, he tells her, “I really hope you’ve found happiness and if you’re ever in need of anything, like someone to love you, don’t hesitate to call.”

And later on, Kenneth proves that he meant everything he said.

***

By the way, different Drummer generally does not like remakes, but in fact, An Affair to Remember is Leo Mccarey’s remake of his 1939’s film, Love Affair. This extremely perceptive article explains the difference in the tone of the two films, explaining how after filming Love Affair McCarey’s had a brush with death in a near fatal car accident that left him temporarily confined to a wheel chair.

More specifically, where the fleet-footed Love Affair, a romance with the verve of screwball comedy, blooms with lively and sweet innocence, the later An Affair to Remember aches and shudders with an awareness of mortality. –Trevor Link

Witness the quote under the photo at the top: “Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories…we’ve already missed the spring,” voiced by Terry McKay (Deborah Kerr.)

Here is the rest of that dialogue:

Nickie: Yes. Well this is probably my last chance.
Terry: Mine, too. It’s now or never… Never is a frightening word.

Now is the time to revisit this classic, and include the whole family for a look at love, loss, and renewal as you rejoice in the shared emotions that unite us all.

–Kathy Borich
🥁🥁🥁🥁

Trailer

Film-Loving Foodie

The course of true love never does run smooth. And that’s not just because Nickie and Terry are each engaged to or involved with someone else when their shipboard romance begins. It’s also the pink champagne.

Being together will mean forfeiting pink champagne and the good life that has gone along with it for each of them. For Terry it’s fur coats, a New York penthouse, and pearls.

For Nickie there is even more to lose if he calls off his engagement. We’ll let the wise cracking radio announcer fill you in:

Say, here's good news for you bachelors. Competition for pretty girls will definitely be easier now that Nickie Ferrante, the "big dame hunter.” is going out of circulation. Yes, it will be wedding bells for him at long last. Mr. Ferrante is sailing today from Europe, and Miss Lois Clark will be waiting for him at the gangplank in New York. Lois and her lovely 600 million bucks, what a deal. Not only all that lettuce but a beautiful tomato too. Wow.

But let’s forget about all those salad ingredients and get to the bubbly.

Different Drummer has found two recipes for Pink Champagne cocktails. The first is more authentic and the second is easier.

You decide, but don’t let the bubbly get in between you and true love, OK?

Pink Champagne Cocktail #1

Ingredients:
1 sugar cube
3 dashes Angostura bitters
1 ounce brandy
5 ounces chilled Champagne or rose Champagne

Directions:
Place the sugar cube in a Champagne flute, then sprinkle the bitters onto it. Add the brandy and Champagne; then top with an orange twist.

Cary Comes Home.co.uk